Police Jargon 3

The latest in my series of blogs explaining the unique language of police officers in London

Mong - An idiot. Somebody incapable of living their life without constant supervision.

Wiping Your Feet On The Way Out - A reference to somebody's home which is disgustingly dirty.

Doughnuts - A punishment. Any indiscretion could lead an officer to be required to buy doughnuts for his entire team. An officer may walk in late and be greeted by shouts of "Doughnuts!".

Soon Be Christmas - A term said when things are bad. As in "Never mind, it'll soon be Christmas".

Death Message - The task of attending someone's next of kin to inform them that their loved one is deceased.

Tit Hat - The large helmet traditionally associated with British police officers.

MetCab - The process of using a police vehicle in order to get home, usually when drunk. The drunk party would not drive but get a colleague to drive them home in a police car.

Over the Side - Somebody is 'over the side' if they are are cheating on their partner.

Bosh - To bosh something is to get rid of it in the easiest way possible. For example an incident may be 'boshed' by simply convincing all relevant parties that no further action is required. This is also known as Putting something in a box.

Met Bundle - The somewhat chaotic bundle of bodies that often ensues when trying to restrain somebody. Also known as a Roll Around.

Doing Somebody's Legs - Stitching somebody up.

Job's Fucked - A reference to how 'The Job' has detereorated to a point that nothing works. It is fucked.

Anonymous Bobby