Police Jargon 2

The second in Anonymous Bobby's Police Jargon series....

The Job - 'The Job' is a general way of referring to the police as a whole. For example:

John: "See that bloke over there?"
Boris: "Yeah, isnt't he in The Job?"
John: "Yeah he works in Croydon."

In some instances it is shortened to simply 'Job'. For example:

John: "That bloke is Job."

or

John: "I hate that bloke he is always talking Job" (indicating that he is always talking about the police and his occupation).


Jobfit - This is a term used to describe a person of either sex who is considered sexually attractive but only when compared to other police officers. In the general population they may be of average looks, whereas compared to other police officers, and the limited selection available, they would be classed as 'Jobfit'.

Sack of Shit - Refers to anybody he looks untidy. He "looks like a sack of shit".

Weary - Anything or anybody who makes things unnecessarily difficult. A call somebody is dealing with may be weary, meaning it is complicated and likely to be protracted. Or an officer may be considered weary for doing things to the letter of the law or taking too long to complete tasks.

PC Rain - Considered by all to be the most effective police officer the world has ever seen. PC Rain is simply, the rain. It is a reference to the tendency of crime to significantly diminish whilst it is raining.

Refs - Short for refreshments. Used to describe a break. "I'm going for refs now" or "What have you got for refs?"

Q - Police officers are a superstitious bunch. It is widely considered that using the word 'quiet' in any form will bring a sudden increase in crime and calls. Rather than risk saying 'quiet' officers say 'Q'. For example:

John: "It's really Q tonight isn't it?"
Boris: "Yeah, I haven't seen it this Q for a long time".

Old Sweat - An officer of considerable experience.

A Microwave - The opposite of an old sweat. Somebody who has been in The Job for less than 3 or 4 years and already thinks they know it all.

John: "That bloke has been in The Job for 5 minutes and he thinks he's done".

Hence, microwave.

Job Pissed - Somebody who loves The Job and lets it define them. They may work all of their days off and all the overtime they can get their hands. They will continuously 'talk job'.

A Doris - A female.

iPoo - An iPoo is caused by a sudden and desperate need to defecate. If such need is so desperate that the officer requires his blue lights and siren to get to the nearest washroom, then it is deemed an iPoo.

 Anonymous Bobby