Today marks the beginning of the Anonymous Bobby Award Season. The WPT Award (or the Wasting Police Time Award) shall be decided by Anonymous Bobby's devoted readers.
Please feel free to vote for your choice of the following candidates by commenting below or visiting the official Anonymous Bobby Twitter page and voting on the poll at the top of the page (Twitter ID: @anonbobbyblog)
Nominee Number 1:
The dear old lady who called for Anonymous Bobby's services as she had inexplicably noticed a full garlic bulb on the roof of her conservatory. Fearing for her life she had called the police. Was it left there by vampire fearing burglars? Or troublesome French youths? This lady had all of her marbles, but just could not find a logical explanation as to how a garlic bulb had found its way onto the roof of her newly built conservatory. Patiently, Anonymous Bobby removed the bulb, however it was never forensically analysed. The mystery remains unsolved.
Nominee Number 2:
A concerned, and time rich, citizen who called for Anonymous Bobby's help due to a raging neighbour dispute. He had lived next door to his neighbour for a few years and their relationship had always been friendly and amicable. Until one dark Summer's day when he awoke, drew back his curtains, and saw his worst nightmare. His neighbours had hooked their washing line over HIS fence post. It was visible from his garden as it recklessly strained at his fence post. This was, according to the man, blatant vandalism. Order was restored by Anonymous Bobby politely requesting the neighbour found another support for the offending washing line. This incident never made the national news.
Nominee Number 3:
A young, and probably strung out, chap who called the police stating a stranger was in his garden. Risking life and limb Anonymous Bobby flew to his aid. The stranger in his garden was a cat. A black cat. It wasn't a neighbour's cat and the young chap was convinced he had never seen the cat before. But that was not why he had called the police. It would be ridiculous to call the police as there is a cat you do not recognise in your garden. He admitted that. The reason he had called the police was that the cat was refusing to leave. No action was taken against the cat by Anonymous Bobby, however the strung out young chap was given strong words of advice.
All three have been scrupulously chosen from an extensive shortlist. Please register your vote now to ensure your worthy candidate receives all the recognition they truly deserve. Also, be sure to save the Anonymous Bobby Blog to your favourites in order to ensure you never miss an Anonymous Bobby blog.
Anonymous Bobby
Showing posts with label idiot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiot. Show all posts
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Friday, February 10, 2017
Anonymous Bobby, the "Legend" and the Prostitute
Sunday mornings are a curious time on London's streets. The excesses of the previous night often spill over and those that do not know when to stop are regularly mopped up (necessarily so, in most cases) by police officers. If you enjoy a calm Sunday morning, listening to birdsong and reading the Telegraph, then do not become a police officer in London.
It was one such morning when a call came in to a young lad who had woken up to find a confused woman in his flat. This woman was disorientated and probably suffering some mental health or dependence issues. He originally called for an ambulance but due to the suspicious circumstances around the incident, the police were dispatched also. This is how I came to be involved.
Upon arrival at the address, a flat share with three bedrooms and three different tenants, I was greeted by a disheveled yet magnanimous fellow aged about 20 years old. I'm not one to place people in such categories, but I would describe him as somewhat 'posh'. Cockily he strutted up to my colleague and I. He went on to explain that he had been out drinking the night before and, although his memory was hazy, he believed he had possibly picked the female up on his way home. All suspicions, including his own, was that this female was a prostitute (Or a 'Tom' in police jargon).
He told the story as if he were speaking to his mates and he was proud of how 'out of it' he had been. It was all a funny story to share with his friends.
Indeed, his flatmates soon joined us in the living room of the flat and he cockily divulged himself in the story of what he described as "Lad antics" the night before.
Sick of this self-proclaimed "legend" I went to check the female was ok. She was on the ambulance having some routine checks. I hopped aboard and instantly my heart filled with glee. I knew this young lady. I had encountered her before. There was obviously one detail that our "legend" forgot from his romantic encounter.
With a new spring in my step I went back to the living room. I was looking forward to it already.
AB: "Right then, we'll overlook that we all suspect you to have picked up a prostitute last night as there isn't any concrete evidence to suggest what happened. She seems OK, the ambulance will take her wherever she needs to go. There is nothing further for police to do here so we are going to go."
I headed for the door. Without batting an eye the "legend" turned back to his friends and continued to relay the intimate acts of the night before to them, whilst in hysterics. Columbo-style, I turned at the front door.
AB: "Oh, just one more thing. That lady, isn't exactly a lady. She's a transgender prostitute. And she also has hepatitus C, so get yourself checked out. Good day".
The smugness leaked from his face as I turned and left him to swallow the new information. It remains one of the most satisfying moments I have experienced as a police officer.
Anonymous Bobby.
It was one such morning when a call came in to a young lad who had woken up to find a confused woman in his flat. This woman was disorientated and probably suffering some mental health or dependence issues. He originally called for an ambulance but due to the suspicious circumstances around the incident, the police were dispatched also. This is how I came to be involved.
Upon arrival at the address, a flat share with three bedrooms and three different tenants, I was greeted by a disheveled yet magnanimous fellow aged about 20 years old. I'm not one to place people in such categories, but I would describe him as somewhat 'posh'. Cockily he strutted up to my colleague and I. He went on to explain that he had been out drinking the night before and, although his memory was hazy, he believed he had possibly picked the female up on his way home. All suspicions, including his own, was that this female was a prostitute (Or a 'Tom' in police jargon).
He told the story as if he were speaking to his mates and he was proud of how 'out of it' he had been. It was all a funny story to share with his friends.
Indeed, his flatmates soon joined us in the living room of the flat and he cockily divulged himself in the story of what he described as "Lad antics" the night before.
Sick of this self-proclaimed "legend" I went to check the female was ok. She was on the ambulance having some routine checks. I hopped aboard and instantly my heart filled with glee. I knew this young lady. I had encountered her before. There was obviously one detail that our "legend" forgot from his romantic encounter.
With a new spring in my step I went back to the living room. I was looking forward to it already.
AB: "Right then, we'll overlook that we all suspect you to have picked up a prostitute last night as there isn't any concrete evidence to suggest what happened. She seems OK, the ambulance will take her wherever she needs to go. There is nothing further for police to do here so we are going to go."
I headed for the door. Without batting an eye the "legend" turned back to his friends and continued to relay the intimate acts of the night before to them, whilst in hysterics. Columbo-style, I turned at the front door.
AB: "Oh, just one more thing. That lady, isn't exactly a lady. She's a transgender prostitute. And she also has hepatitus C, so get yourself checked out. Good day".
The smugness leaked from his face as I turned and left him to swallow the new information. It remains one of the most satisfying moments I have experienced as a police officer.
Anonymous Bobby.
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